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Unplugged moments of PLEASURE AND PAIN

15/10/2012 by WiT

Paris-born Singapore resident Patricia Phan is a regional manager for a European f&b company, an avid traveller — and a self-confessed permanent resident of the internet. Thankfully for us, she is also a fan of social experiments, and a sucker for punishment. These are her UNPLUGGED 480 experiences.

Wed August 8, 2012

9.13 am

This is it. At work. Managed to wake up and not look at Facebook or emails.

Of course i can do this. I prize myself for being a non addictive personality. I don’t drink coffee, really. Never. Love the smell, never picked it up. Never needed it, or even if I needed the wake up kick, i never resorted to it. Coca cola was it for exam times back in the days, with a bit of Bacardi rum in the afternoon. Chuckle.

All the more so, i’ve been unplugged before. For more than 48 hours. But that was while travelling.

9.44 am

It’s easy to be unplugged while travelling. You’re on the plane for over 12 hours, you’re moving around, you’re with people and perhaps not even roaming or with wi-fi. Three weeks in Cuba with sporadic connection in hotels via special pre-purchased hotel cards, specific to each hotel. Five days in North Korea withoutany mobile phone or any communication device. So iIt can be done.

So, why my nervousness then? I’ve been thinking about this exercise for the past few days — when to do it, how to do it. How to cope.

Well, if there is one thing i am hooked on, it’s being wired. I am connected by all modern means except Twitter (I never got the hang of it). The first thing I do when I wake up is check my emails and Facebook. What happened overnight in this vast world with my overseas friends, what happened during my beauty sleep. I am a big sleeper, so a lot can happen while I’m asleep.

I’m very connected to people around the globe. Not just anybody — best friends. People I talk to via chat or in wireless phone mode (Skype, Viber, Facebook messages, Facetime), almost every day. Even though they may be 12,000 miles away, and 14 hours time difference. Distance knows no boundaries when you’re connected. Friendship is limitless. One is never alone anywhere, this is the whole point of being connected.

So yes, this is tough. To be disconnected, alone. Really alone. Not interacting with anyone in the course of the day. No sharing anyone’s moment of joy, surprise, angst. Of any emotion.

10.03

I walked over to the window and looked out. I never walk over to look out the window this early in the morning.

11.01

This going to be a long distraction free day. Lots of work to do. Budgeting for next year. Shall keep busy.

12.22

See people going for lunch. I’ll go soon. I take only my wallet, and a book. My iPhone is zipped away in my handbag — on silent mode. I didn’t want to switch if off entirely. What if people get worried?

At least, if it’s active, people will think I’m busy. Or that I left it somewhere. So I’m not switched off. I’m here. Just non-responsive.

15.26

Made it so far. Very busy work day, thankfully. Wonder who’s on holiday already, or if anyone’s tried to reach me. I dare not look at the phone. Will not. Don’t want to sound like an unplugged Bridget Jones. Though I’m sure I do…

I chose today as a very busy day. It’s easier to cope, as I need to be focused on work. Killing two birds with one stone.

I had only informed three people I would be unplugged.

My best friend in Europe. She’s pregnant and immobilised. Have been on almost daily chat and talks with her. It’s been 2.5 months almost of daily interaction. I had to tell her i’d be missing for 48 hours. She thinks I can do it.
A friend (“A”) is staying with me at the moment. She thinks it’ll be good.
The friend (“B”) I am meeting tonight to go to a slumber party with. I had to tell her to just show up at my place at 7pm and I’d drive to the party. She asked me for my unit number. I’ll just have to wait for her.

All is in place. I even looked up the address yesterday and wrote it down.

15.39

This is the time I usually look up my daily prediction. My horoscope! Not today. Doesn’t really matter though, it’s just for fun.

The sky is super blue. It’s a superb day. Is anyone missing me yet? Lunch was uneventful. I re-read a delightful book (La Delicatessen, David Foenkinos). I mostly lunch alone or with my boss. Thank goodness for the iPhone, and the computer through which I have my daily dose of human interaction during office time. I remember a time when HQ blocked Facebook. Misery! But I could still get it via mobile. The ban didn’t last very long, thankfully.

19.06

Knocked off early to avoid traffic. Finished what I had to do, got home, went to see my neighbour who got my old fridge down to his place today, since I got another one from a friend who left town. I explained to him that I have unplugged, just in case he’s contacted me. He seems genuinely interested in the experiment. I wouldn’t have gone to see him under ordinary circumstances, I suspect. I’d have just sent him a message.

Music. Switched on the surround sound system, which I haven’t done in ages. I usually listen to internet radio through the iPhone. Played the CD in the system, I don’t even know what it is.

19.34

Finished replying to the boss. He is on holiday in Italy. Bloody deadline and connectivity.

Internet has increased the speed of information flow — but our lives have just gotten more stressful.

We should be able to disconnect, switch off from work. But we are expected to be there and to respect deadlines, no matter what. Gone are the days where going off from work equalled no more work. Work follows you around anywhere, anytime nowadays. Holidays, week-end, out of office after work.

Friend is late, she said 7pm. I know land-line communications are allowed. But who still has a land line? And who would know their friend’s number without looking at their mobile phone

Door bell rings. Hurray!!

Thurs Aug 9, Singapore National Day

The last 24 hours have been eventful. I have a mild headache and slight anxiety from being disconnected.

Morning

Fork in the road? I went for a long walk on the beach, which felt like a real holiday. Then, B’s phone rang. It was A, trying to reach me. B asked, is it urgent, an emergency? A long conversation follows and it seems it is urgent, says B. So, after a moment hesitation, I take the call. A breach of protocol? Have I failed the experiment.

I thought it was okay. A asked for B’s number, I didn’t do anything. A called B, to talk to me. That’s my excuse.

My friend A is going through a messy break-up with what turned out to be a bad man. And she needed to talk to me. It’s an “interesting moral twist” in the experiment. To choose to go on and ignore friend in distress? Or give in and help her — but fail experiment? I decided to go on with experiment anyway.

Evening

Have a dinner party to go to. First thing I did when I arrived, I went straight to hostess and apologised for being unplugged. She had tried to reach me. I explained the situation, and had to inform everyone I knew there of the situation too. She said she “couldn’t do it”. She is not on Facebook — but couldn’t live without phone calls. Another five hours to go. Great views of National Day fireworks.

Night

Got home and bumped into A again, who apologised for a kitchen accident. She had ruined one pan the day before. Now another pot, as she’d left boiling eggs on the fire when we left — and the whole thing exploded. A demonstrably distressed friend. I decided I was right to have picked up the phone earlier. Was glad nothing burnt down, no big deal.

45 min left, will go to sleep and look at phone tomorrow. Quite pleased to have lasted so long. But I know well that it would have been much harder being without company. I wonder, who tried to reach me, via email, WhatsApp, Viber or Facebook, and who did what. Who’s mad at me and who’s worried. Or both?

Did my Monday date try to reach me? Now I really sound like Bridget Jones. Will find out tomorrow.

Good night! Quite proud of myself.

EPILOGUE: The day after. Woke up and reached for phone, eyes half open, peering excitedly. Four missed calls, nine sms messages, one voicemail message, three WhatsApp messages, and a couple of personal emails. Glad the screen wasn’t blank! I receive, therefore i exist!

I was missed! Maybe I should disappear more often.

But I am more than completely aware that one has to exercise willpower not to compulsively and obsessively be connected and share all and nothing with the vast world. As much as one welcomes personal interaction, we all deplore the intrusion of work into our daily lives by these modern technological means.

So maybe,as Casual Friday is now socially accepted in most modern cities, perhaps an Unplugged Day in the working week would be highly welcome? How about Monday? I will have to start lobbying this idea. Organise a movement. Resist. Rebel.

But of course, it’ll all get started online.

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