Today a friend of mine, Intan, would have turned 50. She missed it by a couple of days. 

The day she left us, there was a lone star in the Singapore sky. I believe that was her telling me she was in peace somewhere out there.

Last night, at the stroke of midnight, I stood under a star-studded sky in Rajasthan, India, and I believe that was her with all the new friends she’s made, and the old ones she’s joined.

Intan had a gift – a heart that had space for everyone, much like the place she called home for the better part of her life. She and her husband Rich Myer, made their life at Mangonui Motel in New Zealand and it is truly the motel with the best views on earth.

I think when you live in a place like that, that has such open-ness, where your view on life is unobstructed, you do open your heart to everyone who walks in your door.

As she did me.

Yesterday, we drove from Mandawa to Bikaner. We were running late, as women do because we love to linger over lunch – it felt like a summer’s day in Tuscany, we agreed.

Lunch was at a place called Midway (something) – the lunch places are called Midway here because this was the place of the early caravan traders and they had to stop somewhere midway on their way to somewhere else.

Our next stop was the Fort at Bikaner which closed at 4pm so our driver had to put his foot on the pedal. We were making good time, passing camels, cows, dogs, horses, trucks, tractors, bicycles, motorcycles, cars – anything that passes for transport in India – until our van blew a flat. 

Cool as a desert cucumber, our driver stepped out. Have to confess we women were useless, none of us knew how to change a tyre but we did stand around, shouting encouragements and saying hi to a curious cow.

Midway (through the changing of tyre), a van pulled up by us and out came three men – they looked like the Blues Brothers appearing out of the desert dust.

There was a lot of chatting with our driver and suddenly, it was all activity. In less than 10 minutes, the tyre had been removed and changed. There was a lot of smiling and chatting – they were curious where we were from. Being all from Asia, our group of five has been mistaken as anything from Korea to China to Japan.

Anyway, we got to the fort not on time but in time as our tour manager had asked if they would keep it open for us and so we were the last visitors that day to tour a hugely impressive and distinctly magnificent fort.

We then took a tuk-tuk through the streets of Bikaner and experienced the full force of Mother India. For all the mayhem and chaos though, I love the way everything seems to fall in place here.
Cows and camels seem to know the rules of the road as much as people – that there are no rules, only respect for each other.

I love the way people are so tolerant here. They yield space to each other even if it’s just by a hair’s breadth. They share their space with all animals. They are curious, in a very friendly way. And they open their hearts to strangers.

India is as different from New Zealand as night and day. Yet Intan and the three strangers, who helped us yesterday with no expectations, shared something in common – a desire to be kind and open to all travellers through life.

Intan, you will be in the desert moon tonight as I sleep under the Jaisalmer sky.