Finland’s always been on my list of places to visit. One main reason is that when I was about 10, I started a correspondence with a Finnish boy, which lasted a few years.
Those were the days before you could just click and make a friend. I can’t quite recall how we met but I think it was from one of those penpal networks that existed then – he was slightly older than I was and I chose him because he came from Finland, a land I imagined to be full of snow and ice which, to a girl on a tropical island, was a great attraction.
His name I recall – Jukka Toivonen. I found at least 35 of his namesakes on LinkedIn so I suppose I could eliminate by age, write to them and asked if they were “my” Jukka.
But some things are best kept in the past, I believe. Why spoil a young girl’s fantasy with reality?
Anyway, I recall awaiting his letters with anticipation. I’d write to him about who-knows-what but I guess I didn’t bore him because his letters kept coming. Over time, as we both grew up and found other distractions, our correspondence became less frequent until it stopped.
One of those things … life gets in the way.
Helsinki city centre: A laidback kind of place.
Now that I am in Helsinki, I’ve got a better feel for the land that made Jukka. It’s a small country, 5.5 million people, maybe 600,000-plus in Helsinki. It’s a cold, dark place most times of the year. It’s an insular place – it’s not part of Scandinavia, but part of Nordic. They are considered the most protective of their borders. They are seen as laid-back by the Scandinavians. There’s a strange relationship between Scandinavia and Finland – they poke fun at each other but know they really need each other, a bit like family really.
Service is slow here. Last night, our main course arrived at 10.20pm – we placed our orders at 8.45pm. In cafes and places around town, there’s a relaxed feel. People are helpful. They come across as stiff and formal at first but they are friendly when approached and generally have a dry sense of humour, once you break the ice.
You just have to slip into their groove, and then you’ll get it.
Yesterday, sitting alone at a café in Helsinki, and posting content on Facebook and Instagram, and seeing those instant likes and comments from “friends”, made me realise how much waiting for something actually makes it all the sweeter.
We’ve lost the art of waiting, along with letter writing, and conversation.
An exhibit at the Helsinki Design Centre – fashion really hasn’t changed that much here
There’s a new book out on “Reclaiming Conversation” by Sherry Turkle who says that just by having our smartphones on the table when having meals is a conversation-killer. That need to always Google something when a subject comes up, another conversation-killer. And that reaching out for the phone as soon as there is a lull in conversation …
It takes away the waiting, wondering, anticipation – the silence in between when often more is said than what is.
My childhood days were all the more wondrous for waiting for letters from a boy named Jukka from a place called Finland, and now that I am in his land, I miss that.
